I recently read a book that stated the purpose of feelings is to express a need. Although I have heard this simple statement before, revisiting it recently has been helpful. I feel I have become better at expressing my feelings, however, I still get stuck at expressing my needs. I find myself being concerned about coming off as needy, high maintenance, or weak as a friend, partner, or leader in the community. While taking time off for the holidays, I had some time to reflect on my needs and wanted to share these insights with you.
Although I live in Tucson where it is sunny 90% of the time, I need sunlight throughout the day.
Feeling: low energy, sadness, isolated
Action: take walks or stand outside for 10 minutes once a day, see clients in the studio space with natural light
I need 8 to 9 hours of sleep at night.
Feeling: irritable, edgy, exhausted
Action: go to bed earlier and at a set bedtime, if I miss out on 8 hours, try to catch up another night or take a nap
I need positive feedback to feel like I am doing a good job.
Feeling: scared, paranoid, anxious
Action: Ask for positive feedback or a pep talk from my friends, husband, or assistant
Although I am an independent and self-sufficient person, my ability to express my needs helps me enjoy my life more. Like most things in life, identifying and expressing your needs takes practice.
What needs do you have?
What feelings and actions accompany those needs?