As I was typing the title to this newsletter, autocorrect wanted to change under receiving to underachieving. Hmmm, that is an interesting correction. I remember learning about the concept of under earning and overspending a few years ago. The focus was on money and ensuring you are not living beyond your financial means. I found this concept helpful as I was learning to have a sustainable business. Now, a few years later, I am realizing time and energy are now my focus.I had an opportunity to observe my tendency to over give and under receive on my way to Illinois to teach in March.
When I booked my flight, I did not want to pay extra to choose my seat, which meant my seat would be assigned to me when I arrived at the gate. I knew that I might end up in the very last seat of the airplane, and I have sat there in the past. However, this time when I arrived, they offered me the exit row without an additional fee. My initial thought was the seat doesn’t recline, and then the attendant assured me it did. I then looked around wondering if a taller person might want the exit row seat since I am only 5ft 6in. I noticed that I was having a hard time receiving a desirable seat on the plane for free. I took a deep breath and said YES, that would be great.
I have started to practice a two-step process to check in with my tendency of under receiving and over giving.
Step 1: I notice when my mind tends to push receiving away and remind myself it is OK to receive and I don't need to give anything but a thank you in return.
Step 2: When I have the inclination to give, I make a point to check in with myself before I give. I ask myself:
This is a practice, which means I am still learning. I find it helpful to relate time and energy to money. I can wrap my head around the concept of overspending and under earning and see how it can drain my bank account and contribute to stress. Similarly, over giving and under receiving can drain my energy and contribute to negativity like resentment and irritability.